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Saturday, October 16, 2010

He's always with me...

Somebody forgot to cross their fingers for me, 'cause today I did horrible.  I can't remember the last time I've done so bad. And I mean really bad. The only comfort is that so many others did terrible today, so it wasn't me and it wasn't my work.  The promotion team did a great job of advertising. I've seen something about this show everywhere, TV ads , etc.  But for some reason the customers just didn't come out.  I wonder if it was because we have 2 major football games going today.  Football is big in SE Michigan. 

Anyway to get to my point. I was really mad at God today, I felt He let me down.  So much is happening in my personal life and then to have two horrible days at my show , I just felt He wasn't with me.  This coupled with everything that else that my family has gone through the last 6 years was just too much.  My nerves are raw and  I have  basically had enough.   I'm really mad at God . I know He's in control right? I do everything I'm supposed to do. I tithe, I attend church regularly, I work for the Bishop of my church in a volunteer capacity, I give to the poor, I try to treat everyone the way I want to be treated.  So why is this happening??? So I reminded Him...God I'm Kathleen , not JOB! remember?? And the last thing I said to Him was: This is it..I'm tired.... I GIVE UP!

Of course He always has the last word. OK, listen up because here's the important stuff.  So I just finished saying I give up..for me this means I don't want to open my bible, I don't want to pray, I don't want to talk to God.... Bad move.  Because I'm not in control. He is.  Anyway, those were my last words.  I was done, with a capital "D".

I decided to check my Etsy page to see if I had sold anything.  My phone opened to the home page where all the handpicked Treasuries are. Imagine my surprise when one of the featured treasuries was of a sign...just a sign..nothing else.  The sign said "Don't Give UP!" in bold red letters on a white  canvas. Treasuries rotate all the time.  The chance of this item coming up at the exact moment, right after my declaration is nothing short of a miracle.  Imagine...within 5 minutes, God answered me.  He let me know He heard my pain, and  felt my frustration.

I'm still mad, I still don't understand the reason for all these trials, but  He's listening, and He cares.  I am assured that whatever is going on, there's a reason and a blessing on the other side.  So in essence, I didn't really have a bad day, I had a great day!  So I will finish this show with a lighter heart. I won't expect much from it. What I will do is focus on my next endeavor.

My purpose for writing this is because maybe someone is feeling what I was feeling.  Maybe you feel God has forsaken you.  Hopefully my testimony will encourage you to believe that He's with you as well.  We don't always know the hows and whys.  We just have to trust in Him.  I know I do.

Kathleen

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